Leave Disappointment in the Dust!
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What do you do when what you hoped for doesn’t turn out the way you expected? We can blame ourselves, we can blame others, or we can blame God. We can choose to agree with our failure or loss as helpless victims, or we can take steps to leave disappointment behind. Today on Your Kingdom Journey, we will explore how to leave disappointment in the dust.
At this very moment, I’m experiencing some disappointment. It literally feels like the wind in my sails has died, and I’m afloat without any direction. Can anyone else relate? If you haven’t read my previous posts about disappointment and discouragement, click here
Dwelling in the Loss of Disappointment
Worse, as I dwell in the loss that brought disappointment, I have discovered that it’s robbing me of joy. It’s also stealing from my relationships which became quite obvious today when my husband asked why I was mad at him after snapping at something he said. Of course, it had absolutely nothing to do with him. I was dwelling on my disappointment.
I think God’s timing is interesting, don’t you, that as I started to talk about joy stealers, I’m literally experiencing a loss of joy in real-time. So, in order to help us return to Joy through Jesus, let’s say, “bye, bye disappointment” and leave disappointment in the dust!
3 Losses of Disappointment
There are 3 losses in disappointment that I’ll share with you, along with the one step that leads you back to joy.
1. Disappointment steals joy.
2. It creates a sense of defeat and hopelessness.
3. It causes you to question God’s goodness.
Just 1 Step Called Reevaluation!
These 3 losses can be resolved through one step called REEVALUATION.
Reevaluating led up to the disappointment can be easy, quick, and revealing.
Start with writing out what happened with a clear, unbiased perspective. In other words, not through the lens of disappointment but from an objective point of view. Step outside of it and look in. What happened? Who was involved? What did each person do or not do? What did you do?
Then ask yourself what your own role was? What clues did you follow? What did you miss? What did you ignore?
Usually, disappointment is a direct result of unmet expectations so evaluate your expectations? Were they reasonable based on all of the parties involved? In other words, can you expect the outcome you hoped for knowing everyone’s abilities, including your own?
When you do this but still discover everything lined up correctly and the expected result should have been possible, then what do you do?
You conduct a more subjective reevaluation.
What did God say? What were you hoping for? Did it line up with the Word of God and His expectation for you? What is his promise of all things working together for your good? What does that really look like? Were your expectations in sync with possibilities?
This process applies to both relationships with people in your family unit, as well as business. It also applies to things, projects and events.
Don’t forget, some things are just out of your control. You can’t help an unexpected freak downpour on your mid-summer art festival!
Steps Back to Joy
Now armed with some objective and subjective information, you can begin your steps back to joy.
Since joy is a feeling you get when someone is happy to be with you, the first step back to joy after disappointment is to turn your heart toward God: Jesus, Father, or Holy Spirit, or all three.
Is Disappointment a Wedge?
Here’s a common problem I’ve seen with believers: Disappointment becomes a wedge separating us from God, the very person we need to go to when disappointment happens.
Why? Because maybe you believe that if God loved you, the very thing you hoped for would have happened. Somehow, we make it a requirement for our relationship with Him.
Or, we question if we really heard from him in the first place?
Or, we declare that we followed him and did what he said, but what we believed would be the outcome didn’t happen, so, therefore, God cannot be trusted.
And just like that, we have separated ourselves from the very ONE we need on our way back to JOY.
Hope is Gone. Now What?
Let’s say everyone and everything lines up perfectly in your reevaluation process, but the thing you hoped for just didn’t happen, and now Hope is gone. What do you do?
In last week’s episode, I shared Proverbs 13:12 and suggested that it’s when we give up Hope that we become heartsick. It’s critical we stay in Hope, but how?
I have spent much of my life able to find another way around the “disappointment” hurdle by finding another thing beyond that I can begin to hope for. That’s not a bad strategy because, in my case, it pulls me up and out of hopelessness almost instantly. But what do you do when that cycle ends? Or maybe that’s just a way of kicking disappointment down the road? What happens when every Hope is dashed? What then?
Jesus is our Hope. He is the Hope of mankind. He is all we need.
1 Peter 1:3-6 ESV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Beloved, don’t try to resolve disappointment in your own strength, as I have on many past occasions. Instead, immediately go to Jesus. He is our living Hope. He is our inheritance to the imperishable. The disappointments and trials of this world are nothing compared to the greatness of his glory and love.
Hold fast to Jesus. He will never disappoint.
Don’t Lose Heart!
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
If you don’t own The Passion Translation, click here to consider this beautiful, large print version
I can help you Leave Disappointment in the Dust!
Sometimes, we need a little help to see Heaven’s perspective in our life in order to return to Joy. If you’d like to explore what that might look like with me, request a free 15-minute Discovery Session.